Reclaiming Self-Care: Finding Joy Beyond Duty

Thank you for joining us today. This is Dr. Jana Price-Sharps with Mind Pilot.*INTRO SONG* One of the things that I have found over the years with first responders is you put everybody else first and you aren't even in your own equation. And what I mean by that is you very often ask people, what are you going to do on your days off? Well, my wife wants me to do this. My husband wants me to do this. You know, there's all these things that I've got to get done and I'll say, okay, you have three days off. Is there anything you're doing for you? Uh, but I mean by I'm going to go work out. Okay. And that's a good thing to do. Absolutely. But are you doing anything fun? Well, that's kind of fun. Yeah. Okay. I get it. But have you thought about fishing or maybe going out on the boat or going for a hike or taking a motorcycle ride or doing something that isn't just strictly part of your health routine for yourself? And I know it's hard because a lot of you are gone a lot from home. And so when you do get home and especially if you have kids, a lot of times your significant other is going, here's the kids phone. I need a break. And they do. They absolutely do. And please, please take that step back and give them that break, but also ask them to give you that break as well. And sometimes I'll say, Yeah, but you've been at work. Yes, but you haven't been at work playing. You've been at work. And so if you can take three or 4 hours off and just go do something for you, that's going to be really important in your overall mental health and health. Just taking that step back and being able to have a little bit of fun and whatever your near form of fun is. I don't know what your form of fun is. It might be surfing. I don't know. Might be fishing. It might be sewing. I don't know. But do something that just feels good and fun. And a lot of times, about ten years in, I start hearing first responders say, “well, you know, I had this boat”“and I had the motorcycle and I had, you know, the jet skis”“and I had all these things and the four four wheelers.”“I haven't done it a long time.”“I haven't gone fishing in a long time.”“I haven't written my motorcycle in a long time.” Yeah.“You know, we sold those because I didn't have time.” And you know what? Don't let life go by and you be at the end of it and realized that you just worked. And you worked and you worked and you worked and you never played. Don't let life do that to you. I understand that the nature of the beast with departments is they are always short staffed. They're always going to be short staffed. They never have enough personnel. There's almost always overtime, maybe not in all departments, but in a majority of them. And there's always or most of the time there's that push to take on more and more and more. Sometimes you need to set that boundary. I understand there's times you can't. I totally get that. But there's also times that you can say, Yeah, I just can't take that on right now. Now, if it's your chief asking you that, or your captain or your battalion chief or your major, then maybe you just have to do it. But there's other times that you can say no and start thinking about how you are setting up your life. Don't just be driven by other people's demands. Sometimes we have to be. I get it. But there's other times you have some wiggle room. Take 15 minutes a week and look back over your week and ask yourself, Hmm, did I have to do everything that I did this week? If you didn't, are there some things that you need to start saying no to so often? Because first responders and military personnel are very community oriented, which is a wonderful thing. And I wish we had more of that because we'd all be getting along better if we had more of that. But it does mean there are on this board and this doing and doing this and doing this benefit and going here and going there. And they see a lot more of their community than they see of their own families. They spend a lot more time with other people than they do with themselves or with their families. So evaluate your life. What do you want? I often hear people say, Well, I can't do this. I can't do that. Why can't you? And maybe there's times you can't, but maybe there's times you can. But you've never allowed your brain to think about it. You've just kind of back to your back to yourself into a corner. And now you feel like you can't get out. Maybe you need to start saying no. Maybe you need to start having some fun in life. Maybe sometimes you just get to go fishing or whatever it is you like to do. So again, you have the right to have a happy life. You have the right to take care of yourself. You have the right to wake up in the morning and feel good. But it's going to be up to you because nobody else is going to do that for you. So take one step today that will get you a little closer to feeling happy and feeling good. And what is that one step? And keep it in front of you until you've got that one handled. Then take another step. Start moving forward to the point that you're waking up in the morning and feeling happy because you deserve it. You get to be happy. You get to have a good life. Thank you for joining us. This is Dr. Jana Price-Sharps at Mind Pilot.