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Transitioning out of first responder or military life is about more than turning in your gear, it is a major shift in identity. In part one of this two-part series, Dr. Jana Price-Sharps explores how to prepare for retirement long before your final shift. Learn why building friendships outside the department, designing a meaningful "Chapter Two," and preparing for shifts in family dynamics are critical to a smooth transition.
Topics and Ideas Covered
Cultivating Friends Outside the Department: Why relying strictly on agency ties can lead to post-retirement isolation, and why building civilian friendships and hobbies beforehand is essential.
Designing Your "Chapter Two": Why golf isn't a full-time retirement strategy and how to establish a meaningful sense of purpose before leaving the service.
Managing Dynamics at Home: How suddenly spending significantly more time at home impacts your relationship, spouse, and overall family structure.
Replacing Organizational Structure: Strategies for regulating your own schedule, routine, and self-care once uniforms and standard operating procedures are gone.
Good day. This is Dr. Janna Price Sharps from Mindpilot. Thank you for joining today. Today we're going to talk about preparing for retirement. This is a two-part series. The first part is preparing. The second part is what do you do after retirement? I've been doing this job for a long time, as most of you who've listened to me at all know. Been about 26 years now. And what I have found is that people that are living a life outside of the department before they retire tend to do much better in retirement. So what does that mean? Well, do you have hobbies? And don't tell me just working out. Yes, working out can be a hobby, but I'm talking about fun things that you do with friends. Do you go play golf? Do you, I don't know, play poker? Do you play chess with somebody? Do you go to the movies with some friends? You know, what are some of the hobbies that you do that you enjoy with other people that are not necessarily tied to your department? If you're a veteran and you only talk to veterans, it's pretty hard to start dealing with civilians. If you're a cop or a deputy and you only talk to law enforcement, it's pretty hard to have friends in the civilian realm. Same thing with fire, okay? Same thing with emergency services. If those are the only friends that you have and you only talk shop on your days off, then what happens when you retire and those people aren't around? And you're left with us civilians and you don't know what to say. You don't have anything in common with them, you haven't developed any hobbies outside of work, and you're kind of lost, and then you become really isolated. Now, if you're still working and you're listening to this, please understand something. And I'm saying this because I've seen it so many times. When you retire, the people that you've been working with for 15, 20, 25 years, 30 years, there's an expectation they're gonna call you. If they're still working, a lot of times they don't call. And I've had so many people really devastated. They're like, I'm off on injury for six months, nobody called me. I am retired for six months, I haven't heard from anybody. I've worked with these people for 20 years, 25 years, 30 years. I don't hear from anybody. If I call them, maybe they call me back, maybe they don't. Where did all my friends go? So again, the happiest people that I've ever met that re when they retire are those that have friendships out of their department, out of their job, their profession. Start making those friends. If you're preparing for retirement, start developing those relationships. Don't just go golfing with the guys from the department or the gals from the department. Go with somebody else. Start making those friends outside of your profession and start doing something besides thinking about your profession. Make sure that you have some hobbies. Make sure that you have some things that you want to accomplish. One of the things that most people struggle with in retirement is lack of purpose. So when you're working, it's easier to have a purpose a lot of times. And that purpose can range anything from the day-to-day responsibilities of the job or promoting, or, you know, moving to a different department or doing something different. However, what is your purpose going to be once you retire? And I hear this all the time. Guys are like, well, I'll just peg golf. Okay. So every day, seven days a week, you're going to play golf. Well, about the third or fourth week, you may start finding yourself going, huh? I don't really feel like golfing today, but what am I going to do? So start thinking about what would your chapter two look like. It doesn't mean you have to go out and get another job, although many people do. It doesn't mean that you have to tackle something huge, but what would give you purpose? I have people that do go back and they get a different kind of job. I have people that get involved in a community outreach project of some kind that they really enjoy. It's probably a good idea to start getting involved in that before you retire, even if it's just a little bit. You don't have to do it every day, you don't have to get involved in it every day. But start designing your chapter two so that when you get there, you're just not treading water and wondering what to do with your life. Also, if you are in a long-term relationship, you need to think about how your retirement is going to impact your family. So for some people, this is not a problem. But for other people, you might want to think about how your job has impacted the family dynamics and how you suddenly being home a lot more is going to impact that. I know this is blunt, but there are people that maybe they haven't really seen their spouse or significant other a whole lot in the last 25 years. And suddenly now you're home every day? Suddenly your home going, hey, what you doing today? If the other person's retired or working in the home, maybe. Well, how is that going to affect them? How is that going to affect you? How is that going to affect your relationship? You really want to think about that before retirement rather than after retirement. Now the two of you are fighting and getting very angry with each other. If the other person has worked at home and suddenly now you're at home all the time, what is that going to mean? How is that going to influence their day? How is it going to influence your day? Also think about what kind of schedule would you like to keep once you retire. Some of you've worked night shift. Some of you have, you know, gotten used to working all the time. What are you going to do when nobody's setting your schedule? In the various departments and military groups, people tell you when to show up, when you can go home, what uniform you're supposed to wear. They tell you what the rules are, they tell you how you're going to perform your job. There's lots of regulations, there's lots of standard operating procedures. So when you're used to that, and then you transition to a life where there is none of that, how are you going to give yourself structure? How do you regulate your life? How do you show up? What do you need to do? What do you do when you get bored? How do you want to dress? I know that sounds kind of weird, but it's very life-altering for some people when they've been told what uniform every single day, and now they don't have a uniform. So what does that mean? What is that going to look like? And how are you going to take care of yourself? You've heard me talk about sleep a million times if you listen to this podcast. How are you sleeping? This is before retirement, right? How are you sleeping? How are you eating? How are you taking care of you? How are you functioning day-to-day besides the department, besides the military? How are you doing? How are you feeling? Because when you retire, you're gonna have a lot of you time. And if you're not used to you time, that's where people get in trouble in retirement. So I really want you to begin to plan this. Don't avoid it, which is what we all like to do when things are uncomfortable. The more you plan for it, the more successful you'll be in it. But I really want you to think about what would your daily structure look like if you're not gonna go get another job. How are you gonna structure your day? What time are you gonna get up? What are you gonna do during the day? When do you go to bed? What purpose do you have? Those are really very important aspects of life. Very important aspects of retirement. So plan for it, think about it, look at how it's gonna change your life, and look at things that you can do now that will reduce the angst when you retire. I hope this was helpful. Thank you for joining. Have a wonderful day. This is Dr. Janet Priceharps from Mind Pilot.
