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Good day. This is Dr. Janet Priceharps from Mindpilot. Today we're going to talk about how you as a first responder or veteran connect with others. This may seem like a strange topic of conversation, but what I have found is so often first responders and veterans connect over the hatred of something, whether it's the department, each other, the commander, the captain, whatever. And they spend a lot of time talking about I hate this person, I hate this person, I hate this, I hate this. And every time they do that, they get a little more adrenalized, they get a little more irritable, and they get a little more, I don't know, aggressive when they get home. So here's the scenario I often see. Somebody is, I don't know, they're getting ready for a briefing or they're, you know, getting ready to start a shift, and they're all standing around and they start talking trash about whoever is their favorite person to talk trash about today. And then they go from that person to another person and then they go, yeah, that was a bunch of crap. And then they go over here and they talk about crap there. And so now they're really, really adrenalized. And a lot of times they're doing that because they're at work and they're used to being adrenalized. But then they drive home, and on their drive home, they call their best friend who also works at the agency or the department or whatever you're working at, and they start it all over. Did you see what happened? And that's this and that's that. And now they walk into the house after they get done with that conversation, and they're angry, they're irritable. And their spouse says something like, Hey, what would you like for dinner? I don't care. Why don't you just figure it out? I don't want to make any more damn decisions. How come I always have to make the decisions? And the spouse is going, okay, all right, well, maybe I'll get takeout. I don't know, you know, and not understanding what is going on with you, but are you paying attention to what is going on with you? Are you paying attention to what your focus is? And especially when you're friends, what are you talking about? Are you talking about fun times? Or are you talking about what you're ticked off about? Are you talking about things you can do in the future that'll be fun? Maybe it'll go for wheeling. I don't know what you like to do for fun, or are you just talking trash? And the more people talk trash, the more amped up they get, the more adrenaline and cortisol they release, and then the more they look around for the threat. And so if you walk into the house and you just have one of those conversations, you're gonna look around for what's wrong because that's what adrenaline tells your brain to do. It tells your brain to look around for what's the problem. And if there isn't a problem, you're going to create it. You're gonna be mad that, I don't know, the dishes aren't done, the floor isn't swept, the kids' toys are on the floor, who knows? But you're going to find something that irritates you. So I really want you to think about how you can change that dynamic wherever you work. You don't have to be a first responder for this to happen. This is a common place throughout, no matter where you work, but it is especially prevalent with first responders because you're in jobs that are constantly telling your system to release adrenaline and cortisol. So if you have some downtime, there's a tendency for your system to grab on to whatever it perceives a problem at the moment. And so be aware of that. And if you're at a station or you're at the department and somebody wants to start that kind of dialogue, change the topic. Say, hey, by the way, what are you guys doing for, you know, this or for that? Do you have Fourth of July off? What are you doing for that? It doesn't have to be anything big, but think about how you can change it without being obnoxious, without, you know, making the other person mad. But it also starts to become much more protective of your brain and your level of adrenaline and cortisol. You can change the culture of your shift by changing what you talk about. But you've got to make a step forward in that. You don't have to sit them all down and say, okay, now we're going to have positive self-talk, right? Everybody's going to roll their eyes at you. That is what I'm talking about. But you can change the topic. You can start thinking about some topics that you can bring up. You can think about if you have a TV going on at the station, you can think about what you put the TV on, right? Are you going to just have it on the news stations, whatever news station, and everybody's getting matter and matter and matter, because that's how news sells? Or are you going to have something that's funny, some kind of comedy, something that is relaxing? Is there music? You know, is it, you know, heavy metal that tends to amp people up? Or is it some kind of music that tends to calm people down? I know you like the feeling of being amped up. And maybe there are times that you need that, but maybe there are times when you need to give your body a rest and let it cool down. You get to choose what your body's doing and where it's going. But it's got to be a conscious choice. So if you're getting a lot of feedback from your family that every time you come home or you're getting ready for work, why are you so angry? What's the matter with you? Why are you always yelling? Instead of just saying to them, I'm not yelling, what's the matter with you? Maybe you go, hmm. Maybe I'm running hot. Maybe I have a little bit too much adrenaline and cortisol in my system. What can I do right now to calm my system down? So think about what you talk about with your friends. Think about how to change the dialogue. Think about how hot or how cool you're running. And if you're running too hot, make a plan to change it. Hope this was helpful. I hope you have a wonderful day. Remember, you have the right to be happy. You have the right to take care of yourself. Thanks for joining. Take care.