The Hidden Signs of Depression & Pathways to Happiness

This is Dr. Jana Price-Sharps Welcome to Mind Pilot. Today we're going to talk about depression.*INTRO SONG* Funny thing about depression is most people don't know that they're depressed. It's kind of weird. So have you ever found yourself you got a good night's sleep, you're rested, you're sitting on the couch, and your spouse says, hey, do you want to go for a barbecue over at Joe's house tonight? And you go, Uh, okay. Or she says, Hey, let's go to the movies. And you go, All right. Or you kids go, Hey, let's go throw on a ball back and forth at the park. And you go, Oh, all right. Now, maybe you're fatigued. Maybe you've been working long hours and you need some more sleep. Maybe you have some exhaustion going on, but maybe you have some depression going on. Because depression, most people, when they think of depression, they think of people like in bed, suicidal, not able to move. And yes, people can get there. Absolutely. But most of the time, people start into depression and slowly, you know, unless they have, you know, a condition called bipolar disorder or something along that line. Most people don't go from feeling really good to really miserable. So how did they get there? Well, it's usually a slow progression. It's they wake up one morning and they don't want to go to work and then they start thinking about work and they go, oh, I don't want to go to work. I want to see my boss and I want to see my friend. It's going to be a terrible day. And they start that it's I call it depression talk. And then they start hanging around other people that have depression talk. So their friends are saying, Oh, this place sucks. Why are we even here? And they start begging on management or they start backstabbing other people at work. And everybody's very negative. And a lot of times those people are actually depressed. They don't know that they're depressed, but they're actually depressed. Depression, very often I call it the “ehh stage” of depression. Now that isn't a actual psychological term. That's a Jana term. But I think it describes initial stages of depression pretty well. Everything just kind of feels blah or heavy or a chore or Why am I doing this? I guess I'll do this, but I really don't want to do this. And this is such a pain. And so people will start kind of avoiding you because you do go to that barbecue. And Fred, who you've worked with for ten years, walks up and says, Hey, buddy, how you doing? And you go, Yeah, well, you know, what do you expect when you work at a place like we work? Everything sucks. But I'm getting through the day, you know, you kind of sound like, well, Eeyore. And then people kind of start backing up a little bit and going, Oh, well, you have a good day. He does good talking to you. And then they go talk to somebody else. And so you end up isolating from other people. You may end up isolating from your significant other or your children. I know a lot of people that go on night shift just so they can avoid this spouse or they take a shift out of town so they can avoid the spouse or the kids or they work a lot of overtime. Overtime is I call it the mistress of first responders, because things are kind of getting crappy at home. You're in a bad mood all the time. When you do go home, you want to sit in a chair and watch TV or zone out. You don't want to talk to anybody. And then everybody starts kind of getting upset with you and saying things like, How come you never, ever do anything with this? Why don't you do anything around the house? Why don't you ever watch the kids learn to do this? How come you haven't done that? And so you end up getting upset and defensive. And so you're like, You know what? I'm just going to go back to work. I'm going to take an overtime shift. And you may not say I'm going to take an overtime shift because I don't want to see my wife. But in the back of your mind, you may say something like, It's just easier. I know when to show up. I know what I have to do, and then I go home. I don't have to talk to anybody or I don't have to talk to a lot of people. I get to do my own thing or whatever it is you're saying to yourself. So be aware. If you start taking a bunch of overtime shifts and you don't need to, or if you start going into a bedroom and just kind of isolating or you start turning on the TV and if anybody comes in, you tell them to be quiet or to leave you alone. That's isolation and that's kind of that next step into deeper depression. So watch that. Watch what you're saying. Unfortunately, our verbiage really does impact our neurotransmitters. So in the last episode, we were talking about anxiety talk and how it tends to increase adrenaline and cortisol release. Well, positive talk and happy talk and laughing, motivational speeches and listening to happy podcasts, those kinds of things increase serotonin and dopamine and GABA and endorphins and all those feel good neurotransmitters. Well, what do you think happens when you go, Life sucks and then you die? You release a different set of neurotransmitters that makes you more depressed. Now, the hard thing about depression is the way out of it is you have to do everything you don't want to do. You have to quit isolating. You have to go to the door and picnic. You have to start exercising every day, or at least three or four times a week. And it doesn't have to be you don't have to do like a hard core training, like you're going to run a 30 mile marathon, get up and walk around the block, get up and just take a walk with your spouse or significant other goal. You know, throw a ball in the park with your kids. You know, go take a Frisbee to the park with your dog, whatever, and just get a little bit of movement going. Watch Funny things on TV. The worst thing you can do and this is what almost all my folks do when they're depressed is they put on really depressing movies or they put on really depressing music. Don't put on depressing music. You're already depressed. You don't need to be helping yourself get even more depressed. Put on things that will make you feel better. Now I'm going to give you a warning. I don't know why our brain is wired this way, but when we're depressed, happy, things tend to piss off. I have no idea why it's like that, but if you have somebody who's depressed and you put on a motivational speech, they almost immediately get mad. I don't know why that is. It's like it interrupts that negative talk in their brain and they're like, Why are you putting that stuff on? I don't want to listen to that crap, you know? But the thing is, it will help you start surrounding yourself with positive surround yourself with positive people. If you don't have any positive people in your life, start putting on positive podcasts. Those might be your positive people in your life. For a while. Start putting on the Brendan Bouchard's, the Zig Ziglar or the Tony Robbins or Brian Tracy or whoever it is you're listening to and listen to people saying, You can do this, this can get better, you can feel better, you can have a happy life. Is it going to irritate you initially? Yeah, sure, probably will. But at the end of the day, you need to be feeding your brain the good stuff, the the powerful, the positive, the happy, because your brain is going to decide which way to go. And if you keep feeding at the negative, you're going to keep getting more and more depressed. It's really that simple. If you feed yourself only junk food, your body's going to feel bad. If you start eating healthy, your body's going to feel better. It's the same thing with your brain if you're feeding it all garbage, if you're watching the news 24 hours a day, please, for goodness sakes, don't watch that. And I don't care which flavor you have. You can be on this side or that side or whatever, but it's all negative. Very rarely do they have positive on the news. Everyone smile. They give you a token five minute positive and then they go back to the world is ending and everything is terrible and everybody hates everybody. Don't do that. Focus on the goods. Focus on what in your life is good. Focus on where you want to go. Focus on taking a two day vacation. Focus on things that are happy, and you'll find that initially you'll have a little more energy and then you'll feel a little more like being around people, and then you're going to get a little bit more done at work and then you're going to be a little more active at home and then one of these days you're going to wake up and you're going to feel good, But you have to take a proactive step. You can't wait for it to happen. And dear God, you can't drink it away. Drinking is not going to make you happier. It's going to make you feel worse. And quite frankly, smoking marijuana will do the same thing. Both of them tend to be depressants. And yes, I know there's different strains of marijuana. I don't need to hear that because I already know that. But a lot of marijuana is a depressant and so a lot of alcohol is a depressant. You have to be careful what you're putting into your body because you don't want to be any more depressed than you are. You get to have a happy life. You get to wake up with a smile on your face, but you've got to take action and you've got to do things that are positive, things that feed your brain, that make you feel better. I hope you choose this because it is a choice. If that something is something that somebody else can do for you, you have to do it for yourself. So get up today. Take action. Do one thing that's going to take you a little bit closer to feeling better. Do one thing every day, add stuff in one thing every day, and pretty soon you'll wake up with a smile on your face because you deserve to have a good life. Thank you for joining Mind Pilot This is Dr. Jana Price-Sharps. I hope you have a wonderful day.